Happy or joyful?

"They blessed the king and then went home, joyful and glad in heart for all the good things the LORD had done for his servant David and his people Israel." 1 Kings 8:66

I have to confess. I was looking at clothes the other day. I was looking at clothing several sizes smaller than I am. I was wishing. I was making myself depressed. I wanted to go home and eat something comforting.

Why did I do that to myself? Why do women do that?

If I can stay in the moment, stay focused on the here and now, I am generally pretty happy. I can take things moment by moment and celebrate the little victories. But sometimes I look ahead at the way I wish things were. 

I was so happy just moments ago because I had a great workout today. Then I looked at myself in the mirror and reality hit. I have a long, long way to go.

Happiness crash 'n burn.

I love the above verse from 1 Kings. The Israelite were joyful and glad in heart for all the good things the LORD had done.

They weren't joyful over things that they were hoping for, striving for, looking to. They weren't looking for something better, or more.

They were joyful over the things that had already happened. 

How often do we look forward and become dissatisfied, even disheartened, over what we wish could be?

By keeping our focus on what God has already done for us, we can claim the joy that God promises. 

Today I can choose to thank God for walking with me through a good workout. For giving me the energy and health to do it, and to feel better afterward. Or I can choose to focus on the way I wish I was. 

I think today I will choose to be glad in heart over what God just did for me.

One other thing to ponder: Joy is from the LORD. No conditions. We don't have to earn it or seek it. It is in our heart because of the love we have for Jesus. Happiness is a fleeting thing that we chase to make us feel better. Happiness comes from the world. Joy from God. 

As I did today, stop and ask yourself, am I seeking happiness for myself, or am I basking in the joy of what God has already done in my life? 

The BL-Thought Closet-Memorizing-Serving Spiritual Spring Cleaning...HUH?

What does all that title mean? Read on!

Over the past several months, I have been really "getting" scripture. It is like a light has been clicked on in my head. I am applying it better than ever before. I am retaining it better than I ever have. I am using it to enrich and deepen my relationships. I am just in a "get it" time in my life.

Before you think I have decided I am the Oh-Great-Enlightened-One, let me tell you, I have some pretty big strongholds that I just can't seem to allow God to break down. I have decided that this is the year to do it. And of course, any time the seasons change (such as springs arrival, along with Easter and warmer weather) I am inspired to "clean house". This time I am just going to clean house in ME.

How? I am taking a body-mind-soul approach.

Body: Biggest Loser (BL)

I am not healthy. I am overweight, under-strength, endurance and lung capacity challenged. I have had every excuse in the book as to why I can't or don't want to lose weight. Some were legit (under-active thyroid, now behaving nicely thanks so much, and shin splints which are still around and kicking) and others that were not so legit, like laziness, poor time management and just plain 'ol stubbornness.

I have come to see that the body is very important in pretty much every aspect of my spiritual life. I use it to serve, to learn, to build, to comfort, to entertain (I work with teens and I have kids, I'm either getting a laugh at my 80's dance moves or am a jungle gym for my toddler)and also to house the Holy Spirit. If I do not keep my body in good shape, I will not be ready and able to perform whatever task the Lord sets before me. So, I have enlisted some friends who will keep me accountable and I have actually committed and am sticking with a workout. We meet twice a week to do Biggest Loser workout DVDs and (prepare yourself for the horror!) I have been fasting from chocolate for the last three weeks! I still have three to go! I realized that I had turned chocolate into the major food group in my diet. And yes, Ladies, there IS something wrong with that. So, I promised God I would get chocolate under control in my life and to do that I had to say goodbye to it for awhile. Thanks to my friends it has been mostly fun, but there are days I desperately want some. That shows me that I still haven't given up that strong-hold to God, so I continue on.

Mind: (Thought Closet)

I am the very first person to tear myself down (and truthfully, probably about the ONLY person to do it) and I am pretty viscous about it. There is a whole litany of things that I constantly remind myself that I am just not good at, don't qualify for or have the power to influence in. Now, I KNOW what God says about me. I have read his thoughts over and over. But, I allow my own thoughts to drown him out. These thoughts go back a lot of years, and I just can't seem to get them out.

How do I fix that? I joined and committed to completing the new Bible study in the ladies ministry at my church. It is called Me, Myself, and Lies. It is all about the lies we speak to ourselves every day. I am determined to allow God's voice to boom out over the little mutterings of my own mind. This study is my chance to finally break down this stronghold of self-talk in my life and truly allow the word of God to be the voice I hear.

Soul: Memorizing and Serving

What am I feeding my soul with? Well, up until the first of the year, not much. I would read the Bible but not spend the time to really study it's content. It was not so much a love letter to me as it was a quick reference guide. In order to grow, I knew that had to change. I dedicated the next 12 months to learning 24 Bible verses. That's 2 a month. Now, for someone that can't even remember her husband's cell phone number (speed dial #2, thanks so much), this was a daunting task. But, I gave it to God and away I went. I am actually doing pretty well! I got a little enthusiastic with a couple and I am still trying to learn them, so I decided to keep to the shorter verses after that.

Amazingly enough, I don't struggle to decide what verse to commit to next. It always seems to just "pop up" in that way that you know God is giving you a hand. I have now committed 5 verses to memory. And yes, they do come to mind when I need to get a little reassurance or guidance from God.

I am also stepping out into some new service in my ministries. I continue to learn and develop the truth that to grow in Christ I need to be serving his people. I connect more deeply, love more strongly, and grow deeper the more I strive to have a servant heart.

So, I guess my spring cleaning is more of a complete overhaul, but if you are going to do something, the worst thing you can do is do it halfway.

I hope something I have mentioned here might spark a desire for you to check-in with your body-mind-spirit condition. Is everything in good working order? No clutter to work around? No junk that needs thrown out? Maybe you just want to re-organize or, better yet, make-over something that is worn out and just not working like it should. There is no better time than the spring, with the reminder of Easter just a few weeks away, to focus in on what matters most, and what needs to be gotten rid of.

Happy Cleaning ya'll!

Video on exercising

In honor of my not losing any weight yet, I give you a little Tuesday laugh.

Don't worry, I think my body is storing up the weight loss, and I will wake up one day a size 10. (Hey! It's my dream. Don't try to take it from me!)

How disappointing...but not really

I have not dropped three dress sizes and have a flat stomach.

I worked out 5 times this week, what else can I do?

Nah... I'm ok. I didn't get to get the bathroom scales this week but I have done my five workouts (ok, technically 4, but that 5th one will be completed before bed so I am counting it). I have no idea if I lost any weight, or inches, but I feel better. I have slept better and have really cut down on the sweets. I just don't want to be doing all this work for nothing, so I am trying to keep from putting as much junk in my body.

Portion control is much harder than you would think. I mean, seriously! Have you ever actually stuck to portions? I am a taste eater, if it tastes good, I WANT it! So this has been a difficult week for me. I am sticking it out for the most part though.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
~ Matthew 6:25

I am so very happy that my friends are helping me. We met twice this week to workout together and it is a great motivator to know that you are going through the same things together. Of course, they are both pretty fit anyway, but I am concentrating on the fact that I will one day be that way too.

I do wish I had some scales though. It would be nice to have either that reward, or kick in the butt, but either way it is a great motivator. Hopefully this week I can get one!

For Flabby Sake! Get a grip girl!

I guess I am going to start journalling about my exercise and diet. I use the term diet loosely. Maybe slight dietary modification effort would be more accurate.

I HATE diets. I think they are un-natural, but since me being overweight is also un-natural, I need to figure this thing out.

For awhile I was eating pretty healthfully. I just wasn't exercising. Now, I have started exercising and want to eat anything and everything in sight. And a lot of it.

So, since I seem to work out most other areas of my life here, I figure I might as well throw this into the mix too.

I refuse to fixate on my weight or eating habits but I do want to get to where I am healthy and making healthy decisions.

Ok, bare-bones truth? I make really derogitory comments about myself and it needs to stop. Now. Before my daughter walks in talking about how unhappy she is with her body.

This week I have made a deal with myself to do my workout video every day for the five week days. Two of those days I have roped some friends into joining me so they won't be hard. It will be the others that I have to stick to. I did workout last night and slept well.

I have started with Biggest Loser's Cardio Max workout. I LOVE the show and Bob and Jillian so I thought it would make the workout more appealing. I do like it, but it is challenging. I will definately need the accountability to keep me at it.

I am going to get a new bathroom scale on Wednesday so I can track my progress better. I have taken my "before" shots. (Ugh!) Now I have written this down and posted it so that I can't pretend I didn't say it. My first month's goal is somewhere between 5-9 lbs. I know I can do that easily, but I just wanted a goal I could reach to boost my confidence. When I hit the first 10 lb goal I will be purchasing a Biggest Loser "Team Jillian' teeshirt as a reward!