Pink Warriors

I can not make it through this video without crying. I see Jesus so much in these women, it makes my heart hurt.

I hope you experience the same.

Psalm 18:35 (New International Version):

You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.

Join in over at Then Sings My Soul Saturdays and post a song that has touched your life in some way this week Just follow the link in my side column.

Baby Step

So, I really do miss blogging. I like putting word to paper (or screen) and letting the thoughts just flow.

Only problem is, it seems that I end up sounding like the contentious woman from Proverbs. I don't mind sharing my struggles and how God works through them, but I don't want to just be a whining harpie.

The best way to say where I have been lately is Not. Not in the mood to push God to show who He is. Not in the mood to accept where I am. Not in the mood to be patient or in a hurry either. Not ready to move forward. Not trusting what I think I've figured out. Not ready to share.

So, I am baby stepping back into the world of introspection. I have started a new Bible study. Just me, the study, my Bible, and hopefully God will break through and grow me.

I know there are those of you that have missed me and I am so thankful to know that you are there, praying for me. I depend on it!

Talk to you soon!

You Remain

This week I have spent quite a bit of time learning from the Psalms as well as the final chapters of Job. This song seems to be a great way to sum up such a week of learning.

For those of you that have sent me messages this week, thank you. I love the support and concern and encouragement. You are truly helping me by being God in the keyboard!

This song had embedding disabled so I am giving you the link here.

Have a great week!

For more great songs go to the home of TSMS Saturday.

What Do I Know of Holy

This week has had me looking and seeing things in a new way. I guess you could say that my eyes have been opened to a small glimpse of how horribly self-important we can be.

All I can think to say is, God, I am so sorry for thinking I had you figured out, that I could fore-tell what you would do, what your plans are, or even how powerful you are.

We have seen nothing of God's power and plan. No matter how much we pursue him, we will never understand how vast and powerful and mighty and holy he is. I am so glad that this week I was reminded that it is ALL about the relationship with Christ, the worship of him with our WHOLE lives, the passionate pursuit of him in EVERY way.

God loves us in a way that is so big, we can only comprehend a small, small part. How comforting that is. No person on this tiny little world will ever compare or come close to God. No matter what happens, when we press into God, trust him and depend on Him, even though people fail us, God never will. And he will prove it, again and again.

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. ~ Ephesians 3:14-19

For more glimpses into God's work in our lives, follow the link in my right hand column.

Once For All

A three-word phrase divided into thirds and then
expounded upon...

Once: This is my dream word. I would love to say something "once". Ask something "once". Pick up something "once".

Alas, it is not to be.

I have kids. I have a dog. I have a cat. I have a husband. I have a life! I will, for the rest of my life, repeat myself over and over, continually request that the lights be shut off before leaving the room, that the shoes of everyone in my family have a home and to please put them there, that the dog would quit scratching and the cat quit, for dear petes's sake! leaving "gifts" all over the house!

No matter how much I would love to never have to say something more than once, I have to remember that God grants me MUCH more mercy than I deserve. Every day I wake up and God starts over..."Remember I love you most", "Chose to honor Me today", "Let your love for Me dictate your thoughts, words, and actions".

"I forgive you".

How God must wish he only had to say these things once. But because of his infinite grace, mercy, and love, he says them over and over.

For: I love how I have people that are FOR me. They love me. They push me. They hold me accountable. They laugh with me. They cry with me. They take, they give, they sit quietly and let me just be.

They know all my ugly inside stuff and love me anyway.

They are never more than a phone call, text or short car ride away. It doesn't matter if they have been by my side for 3 years, 15 years, or my whole life. They have walked in front of me and led me when I couldn't find the way on my own, they have walked beside me and experienced all the things that make up my life, and they sometimes walk behind me, allowing me to blaze the trail, all the while willing to push me when I get tired, or help me up when I fall.

They are my people, and they are FOR me.

ALL: This makes me think of the times when I haven't given my all. I struggle with that constantly. I sometimes give just enough. I sometimes give nothing. But I rarely give my all to something. I try to blame it on the quirks of my personality. "Focus is hard for me." "long-term projects are hard when you have ADD". "I just don't have a lot of patience".

Those phrases, and the ones that are just like them, that I utter and use as my handy go-to reasons when I don't FEEL like finishing, working harder, or changing myself, are just excuses for me not to give my ALL.

Praise GOD that Jesus wasn't a quitter. He had all the opportunity, the power and the right to say, "No. I won't go further. I have already worked, sacrificed, struggled to teach them, offered to lead them, proved that I love them, and still they want more of me. I can't. I won't. I'm going home".

But he didn't.

He saw our fate, our struggle, our arrogance. He saw our in-ability to help ourselves, our repeated fall into sin. He saw what it would take to save us and he didn't quit, he didn't turn away, he didn't make excuses. He gave ALL. For me. For you. For ALL.

For more Thursday 3Some Fun, head over to Wild Olive Shoot!

So Excited! New layout and banner!

I have changed my layout before, but this is the first time I have ever made my own banner! I struggle with all the technical stuff and generally just search around until I find something pre-made. (or I get my friend April to make it, like the seesaw picture!) I will even confess until just a few months ago, I thought HTML was short for "hotmail". It's OK. You can go ahead and laugh.

Anyway, I decided to figure this thing out. After about 4 hours and a lot of frustration, I finally figured out how to make the banner! It isn't super fancy, but for my first one, I think I did darned good.

The pictures are from 4th of July last year. That's the bad thing about me. I don't "pre-photo" pictures for holidays. I actually take them on the day of the holiday, then can't use them again until the next year. But, my kids are so darned cute that I am sure you won't mind!

Ya, that's all that this post is about. I was just really excited!

Thank you.

Blogger Appreciation Week

Blogger Appreciation Week

My friend, Daveda, is hosting a "Blogger Appreciation Week" this week. I am excited to join in and hope that you will as well! Whether or not you intend to join into the "Blogger Appreciation" portion; I hope that you will consider visiting the wonderful women noted in this posting.

How to join in the fun:

• Title one of your posts from May 25th-June 1st "Blogger Appreciation Week"
• Share why you blog, why you like to write, how reading the blogs of others has touched your heart, what God has done in your life through blogging, etc.
• Tell us about some of the special people you have meet
• Include the titles to one or two of your favorite post so that those visiting your blog for the first time can read them. After you have posted, go to Daveda's blog (Grace talk with Daveda) and enter your link into Mr. Linky!
• The next step is to visit the other blogs on the Mr. Linky, and make sure you LEAVE A COMMENT of encouragement! Tell others how their blogs have touched you and what you liked about their writing, their life...etc. If you read through other postings and have a comment please leave ALL comments under the "Blogger Appreciation Post" just name the other title related to your comment, this way we can all read through, and you will be sure that blogger sees your comment next week. If you like what you read become a follower and make a new friend! We all love new friends!

Here's a little about me

I started blogging because my friend April had a blog and told me how fun it was. I wasn't sure what exactly I would blog about, or really even the purpose for it. After looking at a few others I decided it was to be like an on-line journal. My entries were few and sporadic to begin with. I wasn't sure exactly what to say, what to write about or even if it was something that I wanted to do.

Something funny happened. I discovered that I loved trying to put into written word what I was going through, feeling or struggling with. Who knew!? (OK, we all know WHO knew...HE knew).

I generally don't have an issue struggling with talking about what is going on in my life. I like to talk about what I learn from the Bible, what God is doing in my life, and how much I love Jesus, so that's what I decided to talk about.

I arrived at the title focused on the center because I am all about ups and downs. This is especially true in my spiritual life. It was during this time that I figured out that if I kept my focus on God (the center of all I am) then no matter if I was in an "up" season or a "down" season, my center would be steady and unchanging. What image better demonstrates that then a see saw (thus my user name, SeeSaw Faith).

I have been genuinely amazed at what God has been able to do through my blog. I have had great conversations with women from all over the world, I have had the honor of visiting other blogs where I have been able to witness awe-inspiring stories unfold, and I have grown spiritually by working to put my life in paragraph form.

There are women that I would love to meet face to face one day. Until then, we blog, e-mail, pray and praise together over the world wide web. Here are just a few...

My friend Shanda at A Teachable Heart. She has such a gentle and funny soul. There is so much richness to be experienced when you drop by to visit her.

I have a kindred spirit over at Giggles 'n Gulps. Not only is Tara someone who would TOTALLY be on my short list of late night girlfriend giggle fests, but she has a great, random way of glorifying God in ways that I never think to look for.

I have just discovered Susan over at Runner Mom. She has lots of things in common with the P31 woman, but in a really real, totally relevant, entertaining and learn-from-it kinda way.

Chatting at the Sky is really opening up to me how to really SEE the people in my life. To KNOW why they are there, and how they work together with me to make up my life; you know, the story that GOD is writing. Emily writes in an simple, eloquent and touching way. Sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, sometimes inspiring quiet. Her photos are beautiful, as is her soul.

I have to admit...I read The Preacher's Wife because I can get some really good insights into what might bless my own PW. Sure, she is my friend, but sometimes I want to be able to support her and bless her without having to dig it out of her. That's why I started anyway. But once you start reading Lisa's blog, you see how real, talented and passionate she is. Not just at her calling as a PW, mother, wife and friend, but as a woman who wants to honor God.

In my right hand column is a list of blogs that I visit, as well as several links to memes that I participate in. Each is home to a wonderful woman who seeks to glorify God and the work he does, but in many different ways.

There ya go. Several women who will bless you in many ways. Each is so very different, but we are all united in our love of Christ and trying to figure out just what our place in the Plan is.

Letting God be Lord

Sometimes I get really involved with myself. You know...how am I going to handle this, what do I want, how can I move forward, why didn't they think of me, why didn't they ask my opinion, they hurt my feelings.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.
~Jeremiah 29:11-13a

I spend a lot of time seeking my own council, thinking about what I want, and focusing on my plans for myself. I don't know about you, but God is rarely the first person I turn to when trying to plan my day. He is also not the first person I turn to when I get my feelings hurt, or I am scared to do something.

In verse 12 God clearly states that we will never know his plans for us, his hope, unless we call upon him. We are to pray over EVERYTHING. But not just a "hey God, you there?" will do. We have to seek him with "all our heart".

I was watching the above video and was really honed in on the fact that we "call upon" God, but we only want him to be our confirmation of what we have already decided. We tend to stay in our struggles and fears because when we call on God, we go with a list of things that we are willing to do and things that are acceptable to us. We are telling God that we will only do this much, and then he should divinely take care of the rest. As long as we don't have to get too messy or do work that is really uncomfortable or hard, as long as God comes through with the result we want, when we want it, we will give it to him.

What would it look like if we didn't go to God with any thought but giving our situation to him? No desire for God to fix it, no intention to get God's approval of what we have already decided. What if we truly just poured out our heart and thoughts to him, and then sat in silence and listened to His guidence?

What if we accepted whatever God told us, no matter how hard to do, or how much it would cost us? What if we truly made God our Lord?

Verse 13 is what would happen. We would be brought back from our captivity.

Captivity comes in many different forms. We could be slaves to relationships, food, status, fear, money, situations, failures, frustrations and expectations. What would your life be like if you were not held captive by your current struggle? You would more clearly be able to see the plans for hope and future that God has for you.

Today I would like to encourage you to take your struggles to God, without expectation or desire, other than to hear the voice of your Lord, his direction and his love.

But when he says it twice...

If you have never read or received a Proverbs 31 devotion in your email inbox, I would love to encourage you to sign up for them. It is a free service through the Proverbs 31 site, and it is a great way to always have a new devotion without worrying about keeping track of another book.

I received a devotion last week from Renee Swope called Failing Forward. It was the devotion I received on my birthday actually. It was wonderful and I really encourage you to follow the link above and check it out, but come back.

So, you're back and you read it, right?

Well, it was really timely for me when I read it. I felt encouraged by it, and considered it a good devotion and moved on. I thought about it off and on for the next few days, but wasn't making the connection that God was trying to show me.

Cut to Church today...

We had a really great message on being a lukewarm Christian. My pastor asked the question of who felt that God would find them to be lukewarm, something God would prefer to vomit from his mouth (Revelation 3:15-17).

This question completely broke me. I have only been putting in the motions lately in the ministry that I am called to. I have been phoning in my parenting because I am struggling to come to terms that I have to be a mom who works outside the home more hours than I want, and I am just too tired and frustrated about not getting to do all I WANT to do, that I haven't been giving my all to the things that I NEED to do. I also have not been honoring God in my friendships. I haven't been investing in them like I should and I have not been honest with them about what I am struggling with.

So, while I was making all these connections in my heart, one of our deacons came over to pray with me and my hubby. He had not one clue about what was going on in my heart, just that we raised our hand that we would like prayer. He prayed with us and he asked God to encourage us to fail forward.

huh?

Say what?

Did he seriously just say "fail forward"?

That is NOT a common phrase. I have never heard it before.

No, wait.

Yes I have.

In the devotion that kept running around in my head.

The one I got on my birthday.

CONNECT. THE. DOTS. GIRL.

If God says it to you once, you should pay attention.

If God whispers it to you again, in the prayer of a friend, girl, hit your knees and thank Him for loving you enough to keep saying what you need to hear.

God wanted me to know that he saw my struggles, and he saw the way through, but I had to keep going. I had failed and stopped. I hadn't failed forward. No pushing through, trusting God to work within my failures to complete his plan. His plan stopped when I did. He needed me to move forward so his plan for me could continue on.

If you are struggling with failures of any kind, please go back and re-read that devotion linked above, then hit your knees and KNOW that God can work it through to his glory, but you have to keep moving forward.

I am so glad I have a patient God, one who is willing to say it twice.

The Invisible Woman

I have really been struggling with feeling insignifcant and unnoticed lately. I know God sees me, but in my human-ness, I want to feel seen by the people around me too.

If you have been struggling with this same feeling, this video is for you.

Happy TSMS Saturday.




For more inspiration, click on the link in my right hand column.

Titus 2 Tuesday ~ Melody

It's been awhile since I have posted a Titus 2 Tuesday entry. Not that I haven't wanted to, I have just not been able to sit down and get my thoughts to flow. I am lucky that this week God is chipping away at the dam in my words, because He is allowing me to tell you about my friend Melody.

The first time I attended my church I was a huge mess. I had very recently been told that my mom would not be around more than another six weeks at best, and a week before walking in the doors of this church building I had a big 'ol come to Jesus on the side of the road. It knocked me for a huge loop and left me a new baby in an old world. I was needing definate connection with what God was going to be to me in this new and scary world.

I walked in the doors that Sunday feeling overwhelmed, scared, sad and unsure. I sat through a message on hope (of which I cried almost the entire time) and then this woman got up and sang "Sometimes He Calms The Storm". That was the first time I met Melody. She probably doesn't realize that she had a huge impact on me that day. God used her to tell my soul the words that I needed so desperately to hear.

Over the following year or so I would see Melody around but our paths never really crossed in a friendship building way. Then I started attending a workout class at church that she helped to lead. We had some fun times and good general and light discussions.

About 2 1/2 years ago, I found out I was pregnant with our second child. Not long after, I found out that Melody was pregnant with her third. We bonded over the fact that we were so close together in our due date, pregnancy woes and things that worried us. After the babies (both beautiful girls) were born, we continued to connect over infant care, development and post-baby bodies.

We have gotten to the point where we are taking our relationship to a more personal level. More about spiritual growth and what is truly important in our lives. Bob and I will be joining her and her husband's small group for married couples and I am so excited about that!

Recently she stepped out of her comfort zone and spoke for the first time at a ladies event. I learned several things about her that were very surprising, and some that I had an idea of all along (like the fact that she is a very talented speaker!).

Melody has been very influential in helping me to define a true friendship. They are not instant. They take time and energy to cultivate and grow. They take truth and love, strength and bravery, humility and forgiveness.

I have enjoyed the process of our friendship. It is slow growing and hopefully that will allow the roots to grow deep to sustain us over many years to come.

Meet more T2 women by clicking on the link in my right hand column.

What's fun for us

I'm double posting for Marriage Monday this month. I "pre-screened" the topic and wrote what was in my heart, but then the preview was posted and there was a specific question in there so I am writing a second posting to more closely follow the spirit of the topic this month. I hope you enjoy both.

Bob and I have a slightly weird sense of fun. We like to work. Not 9-5, office and clients, bosses and deadlines. We like to get dirty together doing home improvement, yard work, gardening, cleaning, etc.

We both want to begin taking mission trips, but don't feel called to the VBS opportunities that have been offered. Rather, we are looking for one where we can go to repair an orphanage, build a feeding center, clean a village, etc. It is so much fun, and so enriching, to be able to work alongside someone to improve their living situation in a tangible way, leaving something solid and long-standing behind. In addition, people are more likely to talk to someone they don't really know if you are laboring alongside them.

A couple of years ago we were blessed with the opportunity to serve in inner-city Chicago. We spent two days cleaning the neighborhood and going door to door getting the info of our church plant out. My husband spent the two days working on a one car garage, turning it into a youth center. His team got to have some really great conversations while working with the men and kids of the neighborhood. I spent most of my day cleaning the neighborhood and then going door to door. The work I did was important and I know God blessed it, but now there is no sign I was ever there. My husband's labor, on the other hand, still stands.

There are so many areas in our country that need such manual service. We are beginning to search around to see what options are available. We would like to work here in the United States, as well as outside of our country.

It's not just memories of the time spent with and serving others that we bring home, it's also how our relationship has grown when we serve others. You learn so many things, new things and amazing things, when you watch your spouse serve and love others for Jesus.

And if we want to just relax and get away? Well, he is a camper. He loves to pitch a tent and spend the weekend hiking and just sitting still watching the fire. I like to camp as long as it includes some excitement like canoeing or (still on my wish list but I will get to do it someday) white water rafting. I am hoping that we can get away together, just the two of us, within the next couple of months. It's also a great way to remember all the ways that God is creative. nature does that, and sharing it with my hubby is something that helps to feed my soul.

It really is a blessing to be married to a man that lives to serve. We are a great fit, and when we need to get away and just relax, well, we are in sync there, too. I guess God really does know how to fit ALL the pieces together, huh?

head on over to Marriage Monday to read more great stories of friendship in marriage, just click on the button in my right hand column, and tell e-mom hi while you're there!

This is just Fabulous!

I was so honored when I saw my little name listed on Kelli's blog, Faithful Life! What a wonderful thing to say about a person! I invite you over to check out her blog and get to know her, she is really fun!

I was doubly honored when I visited Godsown at My Journey and saw that she had honored me with this award as well. It is a blessing indeed to be acknowledged by two such wonderful women.

OK, so there are two rules that accompany this award:

1. Confess 5 things you are addicted to.
2. Pass the award on to 5 deserving bloggers

Here are 5 random addictions that I have:

1. Chocolate (chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake or dove dark chocolate promises are my preferred methods of consumption!)
2. I absolutely LOVE The Bachelor, Dancing with the Stars, and Biggest Loser. I get really involved in these shows and then become sad, as if my friends have moved away, when the season is over.
3. being technologically connected. If you see me, I will generally be texting, blogging, twittering or checking my facebook or myspace, or my gmail or hotmail accounts.
4. I become addicted to "going". I don't care what I am doing as long as I am out of the house going. That isn't really a good addiction because it affects everyone and schedules get thrown off and eating times are not regular. Not healthy for toddlers and big kids alike.
5. Trying new health and beauty products (with the exception of my face powder, it works at keeping my skin from looking like a teenager's skin so I am ALL about loyalty on that one!). I love new colors, scents, textures, and formulas. I don't buy the hype, I just want to try it. I hardly ever buy anything the same twice. It is fun for me.

OK, now the really fun part. I get to introduce you to 5 people whom I enjoy "knowing" in the bloggy sense of the word.

1. First, you have to meet Tara at Giggles n' Gulps. She is so random and funny. And did you know she started her own resource website on post partum depression? She is inspiring as well, Ladies!

2. Shanda over at A Teachable Heart
is so inspiring and uplifting for me. She, along with Tara, are two ladies whom I would be honored to meet in the real world. I have really enjoyed getting Shanda's encouragement and insights over the past few months. I'm sure you will see what I mean after you spend some time on her blog.

3. No list would be complete without my friend April over at Ramblings of a Mother and Wife. She's frugal, crafty, creative in the kitchen, dedicated to being real about her life as a wife and mother, and also an advocate for RP. And yes, she is the same in the real world as she is on her blog!

4. I first met Gayle over at The Westie Crew a day before she started her blogging fast. Yes, ladies, this woman has not blogged since February 25th! I decided her blog would be on my top ten list when she posted the most amazing blog about making cake in a coffee cup in your microwave. I mean, how truly beautiful is that! She will be back after lent so make sure you check her out!

5. Finally, I want to introduce you to Kelly over at Kelly's Korner
I followed a link to her blog from another blog, and there I found the most amazing testimony in the making. Kelly's daughter Harper had some pretty serious stuff going on when she was born. Kelly's testimony through it all, and her unwavering faith in God to pull them through the situation, was a blessing to read.

If you have received the award already, then just accept it as confirmation of your blogs impact.

The BL-Thought Closet-Memorizing-Serving Spiritual Spring Cleaning...HUH?

What does all that title mean? Read on!

Over the past several months, I have been really "getting" scripture. It is like a light has been clicked on in my head. I am applying it better than ever before. I am retaining it better than I ever have. I am using it to enrich and deepen my relationships. I am just in a "get it" time in my life.

Before you think I have decided I am the Oh-Great-Enlightened-One, let me tell you, I have some pretty big strongholds that I just can't seem to allow God to break down. I have decided that this is the year to do it. And of course, any time the seasons change (such as springs arrival, along with Easter and warmer weather) I am inspired to "clean house". This time I am just going to clean house in ME.

How? I am taking a body-mind-soul approach.

Body: Biggest Loser (BL)

I am not healthy. I am overweight, under-strength, endurance and lung capacity challenged. I have had every excuse in the book as to why I can't or don't want to lose weight. Some were legit (under-active thyroid, now behaving nicely thanks so much, and shin splints which are still around and kicking) and others that were not so legit, like laziness, poor time management and just plain 'ol stubbornness.

I have come to see that the body is very important in pretty much every aspect of my spiritual life. I use it to serve, to learn, to build, to comfort, to entertain (I work with teens and I have kids, I'm either getting a laugh at my 80's dance moves or am a jungle gym for my toddler)and also to house the Holy Spirit. If I do not keep my body in good shape, I will not be ready and able to perform whatever task the Lord sets before me. So, I have enlisted some friends who will keep me accountable and I have actually committed and am sticking with a workout. We meet twice a week to do Biggest Loser workout DVDs and (prepare yourself for the horror!) I have been fasting from chocolate for the last three weeks! I still have three to go! I realized that I had turned chocolate into the major food group in my diet. And yes, Ladies, there IS something wrong with that. So, I promised God I would get chocolate under control in my life and to do that I had to say goodbye to it for awhile. Thanks to my friends it has been mostly fun, but there are days I desperately want some. That shows me that I still haven't given up that strong-hold to God, so I continue on.

Mind: (Thought Closet)

I am the very first person to tear myself down (and truthfully, probably about the ONLY person to do it) and I am pretty viscous about it. There is a whole litany of things that I constantly remind myself that I am just not good at, don't qualify for or have the power to influence in. Now, I KNOW what God says about me. I have read his thoughts over and over. But, I allow my own thoughts to drown him out. These thoughts go back a lot of years, and I just can't seem to get them out.

How do I fix that? I joined and committed to completing the new Bible study in the ladies ministry at my church. It is called Me, Myself, and Lies. It is all about the lies we speak to ourselves every day. I am determined to allow God's voice to boom out over the little mutterings of my own mind. This study is my chance to finally break down this stronghold of self-talk in my life and truly allow the word of God to be the voice I hear.

Soul: Memorizing and Serving

What am I feeding my soul with? Well, up until the first of the year, not much. I would read the Bible but not spend the time to really study it's content. It was not so much a love letter to me as it was a quick reference guide. In order to grow, I knew that had to change. I dedicated the next 12 months to learning 24 Bible verses. That's 2 a month. Now, for someone that can't even remember her husband's cell phone number (speed dial #2, thanks so much), this was a daunting task. But, I gave it to God and away I went. I am actually doing pretty well! I got a little enthusiastic with a couple and I am still trying to learn them, so I decided to keep to the shorter verses after that.

Amazingly enough, I don't struggle to decide what verse to commit to next. It always seems to just "pop up" in that way that you know God is giving you a hand. I have now committed 5 verses to memory. And yes, they do come to mind when I need to get a little reassurance or guidance from God.

I am also stepping out into some new service in my ministries. I continue to learn and develop the truth that to grow in Christ I need to be serving his people. I connect more deeply, love more strongly, and grow deeper the more I strive to have a servant heart.

So, I guess my spring cleaning is more of a complete overhaul, but if you are going to do something, the worst thing you can do is do it halfway.

I hope something I have mentioned here might spark a desire for you to check-in with your body-mind-spirit condition. Is everything in good working order? No clutter to work around? No junk that needs thrown out? Maybe you just want to re-organize or, better yet, make-over something that is worn out and just not working like it should. There is no better time than the spring, with the reminder of Easter just a few weeks away, to focus in on what matters most, and what needs to be gotten rid of.

Happy Cleaning ya'll!

Titus 2 Tuesday ~ April

The Latin meaning of April is "open".

The Shannon definition is "to adapt".

The last few years of my friend's life have been pretty crazy. So much has changed for her and her family that I know there are days that she doesn't know if she is coming, going, or just hanging on by her fingertips. Marriage, friendships, ministry, self, spiritual. They have all gone through radical changes.

Last year her son was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa Since then I have watched a roller coaster/merry-go-round year unfold for her and her family. I have watched them all go through many emotions. I have seen many "down" days. I have seen many "up" days to counter them.

During this time, she and her husband stepped up to the call from God to step out of their safe zone and lead a marriage small group. Of course, as with anything that you are truly excited about and want to make a difference in, the first time out was disappointing and frustrating.

Also during this time she has a teenage daughter. Need I say more?

I have been very honored to watch her battle her way through sadness, anger, depression, confusion, frantic research, more sadness, more anger, more confusion, to a deeper relationship with God.

So many people would allow a devastating diagnosis for their child to then BE the definition of their child. I am so excited that she did not allow that to happen. She has a son who happens to have Retinitis Pigmentosa. It goes along with his sense of humor and gentleness. So many people let the diagnosis change the way they see their children, but she has been able to see him as her son, not his diagnosis.

Likewise, she did not allow the first experience in a new ministry color her vision of what it can and will be. So many times when we get a less than amazing outcome when we step into a new ministry, we are tempted to throw our hands up and say that "I am just not the one that God wants to use for this". I am so excited that she hasn't done that. I can't wait to see how much they grow through this new year and new group!

Through it all she has adapted to each new challenge. I encourage you to check out her blog here.

you may wonder why I picked this picture instead of a more formal one, but this is just her. How I know her and love her. Of course I would pick this one. If you want formal, check out her blog :)

For more great examples of women living the Titus 2 life, click on the button in my right hand column.

Titus 2 Tuesday ~ Anne

I have a friend who will call me from hundreds of miles away just to tell me that she is really excited about my blog.

She will then go on to tell me exactly why she likes it. Then she will answer a question that I had never asked but that she knew I would have echoing around in my head. Then she tells me how excited she is for me in all the growth and connection I have made over the last several years.

Oh, and did I mention that she is the one who planted the seed many years ago by inviting me to a Bible study? (I grew up in the church, but drifted away before I was a teen). It took several more years and a couple of really big tragedies in my life to get to Christ, but she took my shoulders and turned me in the direction of the path I would need to walk.

She is one of those friends who never struggles with telling you the truth, she just more often than not does it in such a funny way that you don't ever have the chance to figure out if you should be insulted, angry or hurt. It's just all good.

I miss her a lot and look forward to the day that she moves closer again. We have talked about it and have already started making "someday" plans to visit back and forth.

I guess if I had to pick one Titus 2 quality to highlight, it would be the fact that she started me on the road to knowing Christ in my adult life. They say salvation is like a chain. There are many links that get you there. She is definitely one of the first.

Titus 2 Tuesday ~ Dollie

I have a great friend. She has been there for me with wisdom and reality when I was lost in my own world with no answers in sight. She is a friend that will always have a minute, even when she really doesn't have a minute.

Dollie is actually the first "sister" I met after I was saved. I walked out of the office door and there she was, with a big smile and a congrats.

I think the best word to descibe Dollie is real. She is just as willing to admit to her own faults and struggles as she is to call you out or lift you up in yours.

She has, not taught, but demonstrated, the importance of being real in your friendships. I know I can trust her to be truthful with me in our conversations and that is the most important thing to me when building a friendship.

It is not always comfortable or easy to admit to the real you, but she does it. She uses her life to help lead and guide many of the women in our church, and I count myself richly blessed to have her in my life.

She is the administrator of our church, and so I am generally confident where to find her. I try not to visit too often, but sometimes the only thing that I know to do is go spend some time in the chair in front of her desk. I have laughed, cried and learned so much from that chair.

I love my friend Dollie and I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything!

Titus 2 Tuesday ~ Beth

Today I want to share my friend Beth.



This may not be a big thing to you but it just made me feel so blessed that I have my friend.



I was speaking for the first time Saturday night. It was very short, only five minutes, but I had been very nervous for about a month.



My friend Beth, who I could write a book on and will share more about in a future post, was going to be there, not only to be with the girls, but to be some spiritual support for me.



I got a call about two hours before time to leave. It was Beth. She was appologizing to me because she was ill and had a terrible headache and couldn't attend. She wanted me to know that she was thinking of me and that she was supporting me.



How cool is that?



My dear bloggy friends, THAT is the kind of support we should all show each of our girlfriends. Even though she needed the encouragement and comfort, she called to give those things to me instead.



For more great Titus 2 Tuesday women, please follow the link in my right hand column.

Titus 2 Tuesday ~ Jennifer

Yah! It's Tuesday and I get to tell you about another wonderful woman in my life! Today I am going to introduce you to...

Jennifer!

When I first met Jennifer she was working as a sponsor in our youth group. She is a lot of fun and connects with the girls in such an amazing way. She has a very open and generous heart and is so compassionate.

Over the past few years we have bonded over trips to Victoria's Secret to get fitted (thank you girls small group for that FUN suggestion!), High School Musical 2 premire parties, game days, activites, high school camp, girls retreat weekends and Hearts at Home (why yes!We DO do some things that grown ups do!)

She has an amazing relationship with her daughter, Dani. It has been such a blessing for me over the past few years to be able to have a glimpse of what my future with Abby might be like. Just like millions of moms everywhere, Jennifer struggles to balance nurturing and connecting with her kids to stepping back and letting them grow wings. I thank God that I have someone that is willing to share her struggles with me regarding this so that I can learn now what works, what doesn't and what to watch for so that my regrets might be a little fewer (or more realistically, different).

this is Jennifer and her daughter Dani. Dani is a wonderful girl who is athletic, compassionate and silly. I love both of them!

It has been so much fun for me to watch Jennifer grow in the women's ministry. Willing to do whatever is needed, she has done everything from appearing in front of our church in a robe and cold cream to sharing her heart as a small group leader to shedding tears on the alter for many of us (I know, she's done it for me!)

My Hearts at Home buddy, I look forward to getting away with her and the girls every year.

I am so blessed to have Jennifer in my life. She is a true Girlfriend. Whenever I need a hug, a shoulder or just someone to lift me up, I know EXACTLY who to call. I hope you have someone that is a "Jennifer" to you. She makes my life seem that much richer.

This me, Jennifer and April (whom you will meet in a later TT posting) at Hearts at Home 2008

Titus 2 Tuesday ~ Missy

Today is my first Titus 2 Tuesday offering. I am very excited to begin introducing you to the women that have impacted my life.

Today I want to introduce you to my friend Missy.

Missy is a rare soul. God’s princess since she was young, Missy uses her life as a testimony to God’s grace as well as an opportunity to be a servant to those God places in her path. She truly embodies and lives out the fruits of the spirit. She is always ready with a smile, a gentle hand or a stern admonishment (spoken in love and based in scripture), for all those she meets. She has the greatest laugh and tends to say “Nuh Uh!” when something “interesting” is said. She presents the image of a gentle pastor’s wife, but has a silly side that is infectious. From snow skiing to climbing a rock wall, her adventurous nature is balanced by her love of providing a sanctuary for her family. She is one of those homemakers whose home is actually in order (mostly!) no matter when you drop by. She is a wonderful hostess and very creative in her ability to decorate her home as well as for events and parties.

From the first time I met Missy I felt a sense of calm and peace about her. Over the first months of our friendship I was navigating the emotional and unfamiliar waters of a true walk with Christ. I had so many expectations and thoughts on what it should mean and look like for me to be a true follower of Christ. During that time Missy was there with scripture and advice and a smile, and sometimes a gentle kick in the butt. The first year we attended Hearts at Home was really the beginning of our friendship. I learned that even though she is a pastor’s wife, she has the same struggles as I do, but others that I will never understand. She also taught me that no matter how much you know or how long you have been walking with God, He will still have things to grow and refine to bring us closer to Him. That is the weekend I took her off the “Pastor’s wife pedestal” and begin to walk along side her as her friend.

Missy is married to our pastor; if Mike is a hurricane, Missy is a summer breeze. She perfectly balances him and is his biggest supporter. He is like a high school boy with a crush around her. It is such an encouragement to me to see that there really are marriages out there that never lose the wonder of the dating years, even when years of trials and problems and struggles have become part of the marriage’s history. Especially over the last year, I have watched God bless this marriage in ways that have brought tears to my eyes and a pain to my heart for love of what He can do with the children He loves.

She is the mother of three amazing and caring children. Each one is so very different, but just by talking to them and watching them interact with others you can see the Godly influence that Missy has on them. Her daughter is developing Missy’s gentle spirit, while her son is Missy’s creative and charming side personified. Missy’s youngest daughter is not quite a year old, but (although her Dad tries to convince us otherwise J ) is a sweet baby with an adorable smile. Both her older daughter and her son have a level of integrity and values that make me proud to know them. I fully expect the baby of the family to follow in these fine footsteps.

Missy tends to be the shoulder that everyone leans on, the source of wisdom for advice seekers, and a wonderful spiritual leader to all the women in our church.

In March of this year, Missy received the devastating news that she had breast cancer. Already pregnant, Missy was faced with the challenge of trying to decide the best courses of treatment that would not harm her baby, while also keeping her body healthy and strong. Missy had surgery the first of April, and three weeks later her beautiful baby was born 100% healthy. They call her Missy’s little lifesaver, since the increase in hormones during pregnancy caused the tumor to grow much quicker than normal, allowing for detection and treatment sooner. They even handed out lifesaver candy in the hospital after delivery.

Missy went through chemotherapy as well as radiation. Although it would have been perfectly human and perfectly acceptable by anyone’s standards to worry and grip and moan, or even go through periods of anger and resentment, Missy chose to tighten her grip on her faith and let God’s glory shine like a beacon. (Lest you think she is perfect, she did have times that were rough, but how she chose to deal with those times and the fact that she didn’t stay in those times long was a huge testimony to God’s spirit in her and in her life).

Now completely through with treatment and PRAISE GOD!!! Cancer free, Missy has resumed her work in the children’s ministry of our church, as well as leading a Wednesday morning ladies Bible study.

During this season of her life, Missy was still there for the women in her life, offering her shoulder to lean on as well as her hands and feet to serve. She even served as a special support for her mother, who was diagnosed with breast cancer during Missy’s own journey.

I am very excited to see how God will develop our friendship in the years to come. I hope that I bring to this relationship as much joy, comfort and strength as she does. My favorite shopping buddy, and the woman who introduced me to Starbucks Chai Tea Latte, she has blessed my life in many ways. Please feel free to read Missy’s blog (no longer updated, but a wonderful glimpse into the daughter of God that I love).

I’m sure Missy will be embarrassed by all the great things I have written about her, but I am sure she can just get over it and accept the fact that I love her and am excited that God loves me enough to put someone like her in my life.

Missy on the rock wall at the women's retreat this fall. check out the stylin' cap (it's gone now, Missy has HAIR!)

This was Missy's trunk during our church's Trunk or Treat Halloween event. Anne Geddes never looked so good!

Missy and Mike. He's been married to her for some time now, but they still treat each other with the wonder and love of honeymooners.

Oh my! I’m sorry this is so long! There are just so many great things to say about her. I didn’t even really get started. Thanks for hanging in there and meeting my friend! Click the Titus 2 Tuesday link in my side column to go to the Titus 2 Tuesday home blog.