Where Oh Where and Dreams Are Coming

Where oh where did all this life come from?

It seems the days get shorter and my to-do list gets longer. As the kids get older they have more activities. 

As I grow in my spiritual walk I have more "God appointments".

As I get busier outside the home the housework doubles.

As I focus on all that, I have to figure out how to get a date night in for my hard-working hubby.

And somewhere in all that, a day just for myself would be just peachy-keen, jelly bean!

I miss my writing, but can't seem to find the time to put more than a sentence or two together. Then the thoughts are gone completely. I am writing this at 2:30am. It is the only alone-time I have for now. That's ok, but sometimes what seems inspired at 2:30am sounds wacky and slightly concerning for my mental status at 10:00am. If this post ends up falling into the wacky instead of inspired category, well, at least I finally posted something, right?

I love my life right now. I wouldn't change it for anything. But I am left to wonder, where oh where did all this life come from? 

God constantly reminds me to have margin, to organize and to prioritize. And now, all of a sudden, I am being told that I need to dream. In devotions. In conversations. In other's blog posts. In a random web-page that I found while searching for something completely un-related. Even in songs. 

I have so many dreams. So many things I want to do, to see, to experience. I was over at Beth Moore's Blog and she asked a question in her "If I Could, I Would..." post. My answers?

1.            be a stay-at-home mom/writer
2.         learn to read, write and speak Russian and Italian, then spend a month or two in each country,    coming alongside ministries working with women and teens caught in and rescued from the human trafficking industry.
3.         spend tons of my time with my family traveling to see all of God’s amazing artistry in nature

The amazing thing is that these dreams are just the tip of the iceberg. I have so many things, but those three just rolled right out of my keyboard and onto the screen. 

Sometimes to begin dreaming, you have to let go of the old dream.

Bob and I are ending our time in youth ministry this month and I am so very sad. It isn't as if we are leaving the church and will never see them again, but things will be different. 

Change.

I usually like it, but in this instance, eh, not so much.

We have been in the Barn for almost five years and I have grown to love the ministry, the work, the potential, the frustrations and the joys. Now we have to step away.

We will begin our new phase of in-church ministry October 1st as the new leaders of the new college and young adult ministry. I am very excited about this opportunity, and a little nervous.  Just as I should be.  And on the bright side, I will have all of my current students back in my ministry within a few years at most. 

Is this what all the dream-focused God whispers are about?

I don't think so.

We are developing our women's ministry. I am excited to see what part I will play in it over the coming year. 

I never, ever, EVER would have guessed that I would speak to a group of women for an hour and a half, but I did it this summer, and it was an amazing God-thing. I came away happy and convinced I had done just what God had wanted me to. 

What a feeling!

Is that where all the dream-nudging is pushing me? More and deeper in women's ministry? 

I don't think so.

You see, I can dream and hope and imagine all I want, but I will never see as much as God does. And I know that He has dreams for me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

“your eyes saw my unformed body.
       All the days ordained for me
       were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
       How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,
       they would outnumber the grains of sand.”

Psalm 139:16-19

God has big, God-sized dreams for me. 

It is so important to be open to the desires and longings I feel. To the talents I have, the gifts given to me. These are the things that God will use. 

But if I only look for the dreams that I can comprehend, then I am going to miss that big, God-dream that He created me for. The thing that will glorify Him above all others. 

“everyone who is called by my name,
       whom I created for my glory,
       whom I formed and made.”

Isaiah 43:7

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:17-18

So, as I move forward, I will do my best to keep my heart, my eyes, and my hands open to the dreams that seem to be on their way to me. Soon I will sit down and write a list of all the dreams I could possibly dream for myself. Wishes, hopes and desires that will make up my "if I could, I would..." list. Then I will keep my eyes open for God to take my dreams even further than those.

So, dear reader, when was the last time you let go and just dreamed, then gave it to God to take your dreams even further than that?