"Blessed is she, who has believed, that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished." Luke 1:45

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Blessings and Curses


My dear, sweet son is pretty klutzy. He gets it honestly. I lived at the ER as a kid, always falling and damaging something, usually my head. That may explain some things about me. Anyway!

Kevin was bored Memorial Day afternoon so went outside to play on his swing set in the back yard. It is one of those wooden playhouses with the sand box underneath and a slide and a swingset off to the side. Well, he had been out playing for awhile, then he came in crying. He said he hurt his arm. I, being the gentle and loving Mom that I am, couldn't see any sign of injury so grabbed his arm and shook it a little while saying, "Just shake it off". He started crying, close to screaming. Ok, that wasn't the right response. We put it on ice but after about two hours it was still not going to be moved so we headed to Promptcare. After about an hour and a few x-rays later we were told he had a slight fracture in his elbow and that he needed to see an orthopedist.



We are headed there this afernoon. I have a feeling he is going to be in a sling or some such thing for awhile. I am hoping he won't have to have a full fledged cast but we will see.

My thing is, this looks like such a curse to his summer. He loves playing baseball and is really good at it, he has shown huge improvment every year, and this year already he has hit a nice consistancy in his hitting. He is playing third base which he really likes. I hate that he may have to sit out playing the whole season. (little league for the South Fork league lasts until the first of July). He also during the summer goes to day camp out at manner's park. He absolutely loves it. The whole afternoon the are at the pool and he spends most of his time diving off the two lower boards and jumping off the high dive. Each week at the camp is themed and they learn about different things. He will be limited in what he gets to do, although I have heard you can get a water cast now that you can use to go swimming. I doubt seriously he would get to dive off the boards though, and that, to him, is what the pool is all about. Finally, we were going to start taking him to six flags and the water park there, as well as a couple trips to knight's action park. All things that will be hard to do if he is in a cast.

So, my thinking is this. It all looks like a curse, that his summer is going to look pretty boring and restricted if he has to have a cast. But what if this is a blessing to us? What if this gives us the time to slow down and really get to know each other this summer? He is growing up so terribly fast. I already feel like he is a little stranger sometimes. Bob gets him, he is always saying things like " It's just being a boy" or "I did stuff just like that as a kid". But I don't get it and I never did that stuff so I feel like he is growing away from me, and maybe this is my chance to get re-connected with him before the pre-teen years hit.

We have been so busy with work, and ministry and everything else under the sun that we spend more time running the kids from sitter to sitter and less time cuddling on the couch and playing together outside.

I have recently really been listening to what I think God is trying to tell me, andhe is trying to get it through my head that he has already given me ministries and priorites in my life. I am trying to find more so that I feel like I am serving him and his people. I tend to forget that my first two ministries live in my home. My husband and my children. God has given Kevin and Abby to us to teach them, and raise them and develop them. It is our job to "be Jesus" to them, and to show them God every second of the day. I have read (several places) that a child's father is the image of God that children have. I tend to think it applies, in some part, to mothers as well. We are the ones that teach them what love is supposed to look like and feel like and act like. If we don't get it right, or do our very best to get it right, what view will they have? Do I want Kevin and Abby to grow up thinking that God is the type of person that shoves his kid to the side to go hang out with other people's kids? No. Growing up, kids need to KNOW that they have someone on their side, someone that loves them more than anyone else on the planet. Someone who will be there no matter what, do anything and love them no matter what. That is our job. I have been letting too many people "parent" my kids. God has given that responsibility to me and to Bob, not his parents, my parents, or any of our friends. They may love them, but God gave them to US to raise.

So, curses can be blessings and blessings can feel like curses. It is all in the way you look at them and if you allow God to reveal himself. I don't know what we will find out at the doctor today. Maybe he will say kevin will be as good as new in a week or so. That would be great! I just look at the whole situation as a blessing. I got to look into the future a little bit, and I have the option of changing tracks and being a better parent instead of continuing down the road we have been on. What a fool I would be to not take that new road.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Frustrated

I have to say I was a big 'ol self centered girl for Mother's Day. I pouted just like the finest of three year olds. I know I was being selfish and I still did it anyway. Sometimes I just wish that my husband found doing things for me as important and fulfilling as doing things for anyone else.
I have been studying Proverbs 31 and apparently I need to be studying the fruits of the spirit because all I can think is "I wish that there was a Proverbs 32 for men, that way THEY could see what they are supposed to be and do too".

Ever since I have been going to church I hear how I am supposed to be meek and mild and let my husband lead me and still be an asset to him and to offer my ideas and to do all these wonderful things that even just saying them depresses me because I am mainly NOT those things. So for the last two years I have really been struggling to change a lot about myself. I have made some huge progress. Others can see how I am trying. I know I will never be perfect but I really want to be a good wife to Bob so I try my best. I just still have things that I struggle with. Sometimes they are pretty bad struggles. I would almost call them battles. I can call a ceasefire for awhile but then they start up again.

How easy would life be if I actually trusted God to work in my instead of constantly trying to work on myself.

*sigh*.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Spring in Illinois

I LOVE WEATHER! Ok, that probably sounds crazy but I love storms and high winds and the possiblity of seeing a tornado. I have been in two and neither time I got to SEE it. I have to admit...it is TOTALLY different when you have kids. I know there is nothing I can do about the weather and I trust God, but I still worry about my kids when the weather is bad.

This morning was GREAT! There was high winds, hail, rain, thunder and tornado sirens blaring. I kept looking out of the window but since I was at work and there was a client here, I couldn't stay by the window to watch. *sigh* Nothing major happened here, which is a blessing, but still, it would have been fun to see one.

Bob and I used to go to the lake and watch the lightening when it stormed, but now with the kids, it is too much of a hassle and Kevin isn't really fond (to put it lightly) of storms.

I tend to think how amazing God is to create such things. How he not only made all the elements of a storm, but he dictated what the results of every combination of those elements would be. I know it is an amazing demonstration of his power, and knowing it is only the smallest demonstration of what he can do is even more amazing, but I also think it is a wonderful example of his creativity and joy.

There is the possiblity of more storms for the rest of the day, so I plan on sitting at my desk and watching them. while I work of course.