"Blessed is she, who has believed, that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished." Luke 1:45

Monday, May 12, 2008

Frustrated

I have to say I was a big 'ol self centered girl for Mother's Day. I pouted just like the finest of three year olds. I know I was being selfish and I still did it anyway. Sometimes I just wish that my husband found doing things for me as important and fulfilling as doing things for anyone else.
I have been studying Proverbs 31 and apparently I need to be studying the fruits of the spirit because all I can think is "I wish that there was a Proverbs 32 for men, that way THEY could see what they are supposed to be and do too".

Ever since I have been going to church I hear how I am supposed to be meek and mild and let my husband lead me and still be an asset to him and to offer my ideas and to do all these wonderful things that even just saying them depresses me because I am mainly NOT those things. So for the last two years I have really been struggling to change a lot about myself. I have made some huge progress. Others can see how I am trying. I know I will never be perfect but I really want to be a good wife to Bob so I try my best. I just still have things that I struggle with. Sometimes they are pretty bad struggles. I would almost call them battles. I can call a ceasefire for awhile but then they start up again.

How easy would life be if I actually trusted God to work in my instead of constantly trying to work on myself.

*sigh*.

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