This is the attitude that I have been struggling with all week. I just want to curl up and not have to DO anything or take care of anyone or think about anything. I know I am supposed to blog but I am not sure for what because everything I try to write about comes off as whiny and "poor me". Ugh.
I kinda feel like this is the crash after my week at camp with the teens. I know I felt emotionally exhausted about Tuesday nite and I just tried to pray my way through the rest of the week. Nothing monumental happened, but I just felt like I needed to be "on" the whole time. Of course, I also felt like if I placed even the tinest bit of my toe off the line than we would be judged. Plus the fact that we knew there were some kids that signed up just to spend time with Keith and then he didn't get to go so I felt like we let them down without even doing anything. Then there are the ones that it is as if God is speaking directly to them and they purposefully just turn their head and ignore the message and don't let it change them. That is so frustrating.
So, what am I supposed to say here? I know I need to get into some scripture but I just don't know what I want to ask God for.
I think Lysa's blog has a big impact on how I am feeling. Not that I read it and now am down, just that I feel like that a lot and it just takes so much out of you to constantly be wanting others to like you and accept you. I KNOW in my heart that it isn't right to think like that, but I sure do continue to judge myself and come up short every time.
I have a lot to work on. I just don't have it in me today.